We’ve been there and done that, and here are ten popular regrets that we hear time and time again from brides on their wedding day.

1. Not eloping.
   Many brides feel that there is just no way to avoid making their special day spectacularly public (whether they want a big affair or not).  Many a cold-footed bride has found herself sweating it out or running for the bus rather than face a roomful of spectators on her wedding day.  Just remember: this is the one day of your life that is totally about you (…oh, and your man…), so make sure you get what you want, even if it’s just you, your honey, and a witness in the Chapel of Elvis.
2. The bachelor party.
   You wanted to be the perfect fiancé, totally trusting, but the truth is; you’re just not that person.  And since the bachelor party, you find his every move suspect.  Was that lipstick on his collar, or just some cocktail sauce?  If the thought of your husband-to-be getting a lap dance the night before makes you want to call off the wedding while he awaits you at the altar, wouldn’t it be better to tell him BEFORE he lets his friends take him out?
3. Drinking too much.
   If you’re not so good at holding your liquor, for goodness sake, follow your mother’s example and take a Xanax if you want to stay calm!
4. Ordering the fish.
   Or the beef.  Or the chicken.  Your nerves are going to be pretty frayed by the time you actually make it to the reception, so instead of topping your testy stomach with a heavy meal, opt for the pasta and salad.  You’ll be happy you did when you finally make it to your honeymoon chamber (and so will your husband).
5. Hiring a band instead of a DJ.
   No matter how good the band is, they’re not going to give you the selection of songs that a DJ will (and they just can’t be as good as the original anyway).  Save some money and skip hiring your brother’s garage band.  Your guests will thank you.
6. Open bar.
   Drunken revelry is all well and good, but you never wanted to see your grandma kick up her heels (and kick off her skirt) after downing a couple of long island iced teas.  Preempt the drunken theatrics (and cut down your bar bill) by offering a limited selection of beer, wine, and champagne (or simply making the event non-alcoholic).  You may hear some grumbling from the guests, but you’ll likely avoid bridesmaids puking in the bushes.
7. Family favors.
   Hiring your uncle to hold the camera could net you a lot of photos with your head cut off.  And even though your cousin is a seamstress, she’s really no match for the selection at Nordstrom.  Spend a little extra dough on professional goods and services and tell your family you just want them to relax and enjoy the day.
8. DIY.
   Of course you can do it all yourself, but if you actually want to enjoy your wedding, hire some help!  While a wedding planner is useful, you can really get all the info you need to make informed decisions by attending a bridal fair (locations, destinations, florists, photographers, bakers, etc.).  But for everything else, let the professionals handle it.  After all, you don’t want to be wandering the reception hall after everyone has left, cleaning up plates and napkins.
9. Letting the wedding get too big.
   Bowing to family pressures, brides are often harassed into inviting aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, business partners, ladies bridge clubs, neighbors, and every other Tom, Dick, and Harry their parents want to schmooze on the day of their daughter’s wedding.  Suddenly, a quiet little ceremony has turned into a lavish affair catering to hundreds of guests.  Avoid this common pitfall by setting a number and firmly adhering to it.
10. Letting the mothers help.
    Stay strong and say no, sister!  Everyone will be happier in the end, especially you.

This article was written exclusively for STL Weddings by Sarah Danielson. Sarah writes for a website where you can find various types of retirement plans, tips and advice on eligibility, investing, and establishing goals for your future.

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Its the aged old question – band or dj? You’ve probably been to several weddings with hideous bands (Wedding Singer anyone?) and several with DJs that made you cringe, and you’ve probably heard the ups and downs of each a hundred times.

Now that you’re planning your own wedding reception, its time to make a choice. There’s no shying away from this decision – it just may be the most important wedding reception planning decision you will make.

This is the Truth
When ready to choose your wedding music keep one thing in mind, the music is the backbone of the whole affair. Without good music all the planning and primping means nada.

Really — whether you choose a wedding band or a DJ is a matter of personal taste.

But for those who don’t have their mind made up yet, here are some pros and cons of the wedding band and wedding disc jockey:

People are accustomed to hearing music as they know it, beat for beat. This is a big plus for the DJ.

You must be careful though, as many DJ’s put on a show of their own. Sometimes this show is so flashy that it detracts from the attention of the bride and groom, and the Disc Jockey now becomes the main attraction. If you shop carefully, you’ll find a nice middle of the road DJ with great music and a good personality, that can get the room rocking.

Some will argue there is no substitute for a good band, and I agree (if you’ve found the right one). Had you asked me ten years ago, I would have cringed at the thought of a Disc Jockey doing a wedding. However, a number of DJ’s have the business down to a science, and do a first class job.

What you really want is for your guests to have a great time – right?
So regardless of whether you go with a wedding band or disc jockey, choose one with a good personality.

I’ve heard bands that played flawlessly, but had no personality, and the guests had to do their own thing. On the other hand, I’ve seen bands whose music was mediocre at best, yet they had great personality and got the guests involved.  I’ve also seen djs that put the spotlight on you and others that can barely pronounce your name.

Remember, people are mostly followers not leaders, they will all get on a Conga line, but few will be brave enough to start it.

If you haven’t already checked out the Worst Wedding DJ ever, do yourself a favor and search for the video on YouTube – the video is much too raw for this site, but if you have a stomach for the insanely wrong – then you might get a laugh or two or three out of the video. But don’t say we didn’t warn you –  if your boss catches you watching the Worst Wedding DJ Ever at your desk – its all on you!

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There is nothing a DJ fears more then when the Bride and Groom produce a list of all the songs they don’t want played during their reception – the dreaded “Do Not Play” list.

After reviewing the list with the bride and groom, we share that many of the songs on their list would surely fill the dance floor and keep the party rocking. The usual response is “it’s my reception and I don’t want to hear that song.”

There is no argument that a reception should reflect the personalities of the bride and groom but there should also be some flexibility allotted to the DJ to appeal to all of your guest’s varied tastes. Before you and your fiancé sit down to work on your “Do Not Play” list, ask yourself a couple of questions:

• How many children and teens will be in attendance? Understand their music tastes.
• Even if I don’t like a particular song or group, if a guest wants to hear it, can I tolerate it so they can have a good time?
• Can I trust the DJ I hired to use all the music at his disposal to ensure everyone has fun?

A good DJ understands when the couple doesn’t want to hear Hard Rock or Rap because they have a very limited audience and appeal, especially to grandma and grandpa who are in attendance. However, it’s a good idea to move from the “it’s my reception” thought process to “let’s celebrate our special day with our guests.” It’s a sure fire recipe for success and a day of fun!

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Almost every established entertainment company is willing to offer the benefit of their insight. Invariably, large companies tout the benefits of hitching-up with a capable, resource-rich agency, while individual operators talk-up their personal attention to each event.

In truth, there are fine DJs and excellent customer service practices in place at both large and small companies. And, of course, there are less desirable elements across the spectrum.

Even if you’ve seen a company’s DJs in action, the decision isn’t easy. I’ve seen excellent performers placed in untenable circumstances and mediocre DJs blessed with an “anything goes” crowd. The end results weren’t commensurate with the talent and effort invested in the job.

Of course, you can contact references. But really, who lists their flops on a reference list? And who doesn’t list their brother-in-law and golf partner? After coming to accept the minimal value of references and the potential for disrupting the privacy of our valued customers, our company actually stopped publishing reference lists. They simply didn’t seem useful to savvy consumers.

Some DJ companies use videotapes to demonstrate their finesse. Here again, the problem is that selective editing can project Forrest Gump as an articulate announcer and Tommy Turtle as a skilled music mixer. To keep up with the trend, our company is developing a videotape for customer review, but only those willing to accept Memorex as reality will be swayed by its contents.

Fine, you say, this article has succeeded in eliminating all possible avenues of evaluation. We’re back to (horrors!) luck-of-the-draw.

Or maybe not.

There is an excellent method for evaluating a potential DJ. And it doesn’t involve a great deal of research. The method involves calling and talking to the person. Really! …just talking!

If you can invest just twenty minutes in a phone call, you can learn a lot about the way a company does business, the way a DJ conducts him/herself, and whether their style is a good match for your reception atmosphere.

Ask questions, and listen carefully to both the words and the way in which you get answers. You’ll hear a lot about attitude, personality and professionalism, if you pay close attention. Even the world’s slickest salesperson is forced to drop their mask when your inquiries fall outside the standard response list.

1. Tell me how you’ll plan my wedding reception.
2. How would you describe your (or your DJs’) performance style?
3. How do you recruit new DJs?
4. What professional accomplishments have your DJs achieved?
5. Do you belong to the Chamber of Commerce or BBB?
6. What happens if the DJ gets sick or the equipment fails?
7. If we’ve banned a particular song from our reception and it’s requested, how would you handle that?
8. What are the credentials of the person who designed your equipment setup?
9. How would you play both big band and club dance music at the same event?
10. How many other events will you be playing on the same day as my reception?

The last question, by the way, is quite a trick. If a company will own-up to playing 50 receptions simultaneously, you can be assured that personal service is nonexistent. By the same token, a single operator who tries to squeeze two or three jobs into a Saturday is begging sweat-soaked overload. Look for some reasonable workload from your entertainment provider. Planning is absolutely essential to event success, and a “load-and-leave” schedule invariably results in a crazyquilt music program. You’ll pay more for the individual attention, but it’s worth the price.

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How much is entertainment worth? After two decades of wedding reception entertainment service, I’m still amazed that so many engaged couples will automatically latch-on to the lowest price.

It would be less amazing if prices typically spanned several thousand dollars. But they don’t. The difference between students/DJs who hook-up their home stereo system for some quick pocket money and accomplished professionals is dollars, not diamonds.

This is not to imply that you get what you pay for. There are fine-and-inexpensive DJs and mediocre-and-pricey DJs. Again, the goal here is not to confuse the issue, but to assert that quality-conscious customers seek more information than price as they come to a decision. Altogether too often, brides-to-be call our office and begin the conversation with the question, “What do you charge?” At this point, we’re not excited about having a potential customer on the phone. We know that, regardless of our commitment to performance quality and customer service, our caller can be lured to a bottom-tier performer for a few dollars.

Faced with a choice, are you willing to pay a few dollars more for the additional attention to detail? You are if you recognize that entertainment will play a pivotal role in the success of your event. Years from now, guests may not remember whether you served chicken, duck, pheasant, or grouse, but they’ll certainly recall whether they danced, laughed and enjoyed themselves at your reception.

Although it’s among the lowest-cost budget items, entertainment is one of the top-level success factors. There is, however, an important issue to be discussed when the cost issues arise. Specifically, at “X” price, what’s included? There are companies that will quote a generous price, but tack on more fees for lighting effects, DJ formalwear, equipment options, and advance consultation sessions.

One company with whom we compete offers very low rates for DJ services, then, a week before the event, asks the customer if they’ll need music or playback equipment. Anything other than the human being is a costly option, but this isn’t made clear at the outset. At the delayed point at which the “music-and-equipment” option is first mentioned, it’s way too late to schedule a more reputable company.

Speaking of scheduling, it only stands to reason that the best DJs book quickly, and aren’t willing to overextend themselves. If you wait until a month before your reception to begin calling entertainment companies, you’ll assuredly get what’s left over. Ideally, call at least six months ahead; a full year is even better. Even when the good companies have leftover slots, prices increase considerably as dates draw near.

Also with regard to scheduling, expect to spend more for Saturdays in Spring and Fall; less for Sundays in the off-season. If you need to economize, selecting a slow date will buy you much more than contracting with a second-tier professional. Good wedding reception entertainers are many things. They are planners, music experts, interpersonal communicators, customer service professionals, sound technicians, wedding managers, and more. Their many responsibilities require that they be fully competent and hold your complete trust.

Before signing a contract, get to know the company you’re dealing with. Are the many roles adequately addressed? Do you have a comfort level with the person on the other end of the phone? Does the company have the ability to meet your vision of your reception, or are you part of an assembly line? If any of these answers fall short of a resounding “yes,” make more calls. You’re choosing a partner as much as a service provider, and your confidence is the cornerstone for building an excellent wedding reception entertainment program.

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