How to Deal with Family Pressure

Are your parents driving you nuts?

Now that you’ve got the ring on your finger, the fun has just begun.

You’ve been dreaming of the day you’d walk down the aisle since you were five years old.

And now you finally get to don that fluffy white dress and portray your inner princess for a day that’s all about you (oh, and the man you love, of course!).

But while wedding planning may sound like a lot of fun, it is also a lot of work, especially if you opt to do it on your own (as in, sans wedding planner).

Sure, trying on dresses and choosing flowers is great, but there is a lot of coordination that goes into planning the perfect day.

After a while, all the attention to detail can leave your head spinning and have your stress meter pushing the limits of endurance.

Throw on top of that the pressure your family is piling on and you might begin to feel like the blessed event is more of a curse.  So how can you convince your family to lay off without irrevocably burning bridges? Simple…

Just be honest and offer up some compromise

One of the biggest sources of family pressure often comes from two corners: your mother and your soon-to-be mother-in-law.  While these women can be a font of useful information when it comes to wedding plans, their advice may start to weigh on you after a while, especially if they tend to get demanding or overstep their bounds.

This situation can get pretty touchy if their ideas don’t mesh with yours, and it can be even more complicated if one or both sets of parents are pitching in to cover wedding costs.  You might feel obligated to bow to their opinions at the expense of your own preferences.

Its All About You

However, you need to remember that this day is about you and your honey, not your parents.  If they offer up money, they should do so with no strings attached.

Of course, it’s not always that easy, and your mothers might take affront to your refusal to give them a voice in the planning process.  They might even go so far as to scheme behind your back, and if they start bickering, the process could grind to a halt (not to mention the irreparable damage done to personal relationships).

Hold a Family Meeting

If you want to put a stop to this, you need to hold a family meeting.  Sit everyone down to talk about what’s going on.

Politely ask the moms to butt out and if they are offended, you can easily clear up the issue by paying for your own wedding (although it may seriously delay or diminish your plans).  Hopefully your parents won’t let it go this far.

Assign Dedicated Tasks

Another option is to give your mothers dedicated tasks.  You’ll have to relinquish control over certain areas of planning, but it could just free you up to manage everything else.

By letting the mothers take over traditional tasks such as planning events leading up to the wedding (bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, day-after wedding brunch) you can keep them occupied, reduce the pressure, and plan your wedding as you see fit, without anyone’s interference.

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